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The Explorer Returns

I’ve got some bad news and good news.
Good news: - Your favorite, daring and attractive explorer is back.
Bad news: - He’s dying.
Unfortunately it isn’t an honorable one like that of Steve Irwin, doing what he loves the most, it’s a tragic and heart melting one, the one caused due to excessive dehydration and thirst.

Now before you start bombarding social media with your ‘concern’ and ‘sympathy’, allow me to explain this ‘thirst’ of his. It isn’t any ordinary thirst that our protagonist’s close friend, Bear Grylls can cure by pouring his piss down his throat, oh no, this thirst is the thirst of attention. It’s an unquenchable need for popularity and recognition that bothers not only our favorite hero here, but millions of bums called teenagers around the world. It’s sad and our friend here is just another victim of it.

  
It all started when our amazing hero realized that the attention he wanted after his adventures in the Gorilla’s Habitat never came. To solve this dilemma, our brave friend decided to undertake a new expedition. It was the expedition in search of fame. It would have kicked Magellan or Columbus’s butt if they would have been alive. It was called The Expedition to be Cool.


The first thing the explorer did was to open an account in every social media platform out there in the cruel harsh world.  But obviously this wasn’t enough.  After making Instagram the base of his operations, the first thing our protagonist did was to upload a sexy semi nude photo of him on it.



                                                         
This done your new cool boi decided to make full use of the pointless no one-give-a-flying-damn stories on the new technology he discovered.  So this started a series of ‘stories’ where your savage boi explorer posted whenever he was in the toilet or [redated] to DC and Marvel movies in theaters or pretending to drink booze at pubs or when he met a pretty lady.

      Not to mention his unconditional love towards his mother



As all this didn’t work out, your protagonist decided to open a YouTube channel to see people make a fool out of him.

   
  

But alas…none of this works out for our sad hero. His thirst for fame has increased but he is out of ideas.
Everything he tried has failed.
But there was hope
A last chance to be accepted by the society,
A final opportunity to make the ladies take him home.
Our hero decides to open a BLOG.


With an amazing title and changing the description on his Instagram to ‘Blogger’, our protagonist writes  amazing articles on the abstract act of swearing and his favorite YouTube stars.




For some reason it magnificently fails.



The sheer disappointment and shame has forced the explorer into hiding. Some say he currently makes memes undercover for a ‘dank’ meme page. But I firmly believe he is deep in the jungles of Zimbabwe, with the Gorillas, where he truly belongs, happy, wise and free and not giving a flying damn to the world.


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