Today I will take you on an interesting journey. It might bore the male species but might capture the attention of the opposite sex. Welcome to the grand tour of a TOILET. And not just any toilet, it’s the behind the scenes safari through the boys toilet at OUR SCHOOL!
Let’s start with the entrance. To enter the toilet , you have to cross the swamp. This man(read-unruly gorilla) made swap was developed mainly through the water from the sink and the mud the gorillas brought back from the school ground . These gorillas also have the tendency to bathe each other with a mini water war which is a characteristic of a gorilla’s behavior. Also found among the dirt particles is leftover food which either comes from the barf of the gorillas or the hands which is the gorilla’s usual tendency to mistake the floor as a sink.
If you have survived the first level, congratulations. But your journey has only just begun. As soon as the innocent wildlife explorer steps into the interiors of the ‘little gorilla’s room ’, he/she has to endure the beautiful aroma that usually is a mix of three things. Sweat, Number one and number two. Once the Explorer has acclimatized to this new environment he/she can venture further into the heart of the gorillas habitat.
Here, the innocent kind and humble soul may encounter three types of disposal machines.
1. The Urinals – Which are short and have privacy issues. The gorillas has to bend his knees to do his business. Also as there is no partition between the urinals, there is a risk of a wardrobe malfunction which may cause huge embarrassment to the gorilla for the rest of his life. Generally used by gorillas who are innocent of the term ‘ wardrobe malfunction’
2. The Indian Type – Which are private and comfortable but not quite in proper working condition due to broken bucket or flush . The wise gorillas of the pack use it most of the time. Unfortunately the Gorilla also has to endure the kicks given to his backside by other impatient members of his clan. Short term memory loss is also an issue as the younger members of the tribe might have forgotten to flush the number two which they did not bother about in the safety and comfort of their own home bathroom in the morning. This also acts as a room fresher to the gorilla’s ‘crib’
3. The Western Type – Surprisingly rarely used. Used when the gorilla concerned has urgent business to do and the above two options are occupied. It is safe hygienic and in proper working condition.
If you have registered the above information into your head , then you will be safe in this planet of the apes.
You will also notice the beautiful designs and the contemporary artwork done by the budding geniuses who feel that their notebooks is worth human manure compared to the glistening white tiles of the toilet.
These tiles also act as a dictionary for the young gorillas who want to learn those secret four, five and six letter words which they aren’t allowed to use at their happy, clean and healthy homes.
The jungle explorer will also notice the increasing tendency among the gorilla tribe to take selfies and do other strange stuff in this room. Hence this toilet has been given the term ‘Protected Private Habitat’. By doing this, these gorillas appear ‘swaggy’.
At last to conclude the tour, the Explorer can enjoy the melodious tunes which the gorillas sing for free while they are busy. Although the listener will also have to endure the cackle and the guttural talk which the thug gorillas enjoy among themselves.
The jungle safari comes to an end. The enthralled explorer might have roamed in the deepest jungles of Amazon or the highest mountains of Zimbabwe to search for new species, but the most vibrant form of wildlife will only be found at the Boys toilet of our school.
May the ‘Phorce’ Be With You
Adil Ansari
Let’s start with the entrance. To enter the toilet , you have to cross the swamp. This man(read-unruly gorilla) made swap was developed mainly through the water from the sink and the mud the gorillas brought back from the school ground . These gorillas also have the tendency to bathe each other with a mini water war which is a characteristic of a gorilla’s behavior. Also found among the dirt particles is leftover food which either comes from the barf of the gorillas or the hands which is the gorilla’s usual tendency to mistake the floor as a sink.
If you have survived the first level, congratulations. But your journey has only just begun. As soon as the innocent wildlife explorer steps into the interiors of the ‘little gorilla’s room ’, he/she has to endure the beautiful aroma that usually is a mix of three things. Sweat, Number one and number two. Once the Explorer has acclimatized to this new environment he/she can venture further into the heart of the gorillas habitat.
Here, the innocent kind and humble soul may encounter three types of disposal machines.
1. The Urinals – Which are short and have privacy issues. The gorillas has to bend his knees to do his business. Also as there is no partition between the urinals, there is a risk of a wardrobe malfunction which may cause huge embarrassment to the gorilla for the rest of his life. Generally used by gorillas who are innocent of the term ‘ wardrobe malfunction’
2. The Indian Type – Which are private and comfortable but not quite in proper working condition due to broken bucket or flush . The wise gorillas of the pack use it most of the time. Unfortunately the Gorilla also has to endure the kicks given to his backside by other impatient members of his clan. Short term memory loss is also an issue as the younger members of the tribe might have forgotten to flush the number two which they did not bother about in the safety and comfort of their own home bathroom in the morning. This also acts as a room fresher to the gorilla’s ‘crib’
3. The Western Type – Surprisingly rarely used. Used when the gorilla concerned has urgent business to do and the above two options are occupied. It is safe hygienic and in proper working condition.
If you have registered the above information into your head , then you will be safe in this planet of the apes.
You will also notice the beautiful designs and the contemporary artwork done by the budding geniuses who feel that their notebooks is worth human manure compared to the glistening white tiles of the toilet.
These tiles also act as a dictionary for the young gorillas who want to learn those secret four, five and six letter words which they aren’t allowed to use at their happy, clean and healthy homes.
The jungle explorer will also notice the increasing tendency among the gorilla tribe to take selfies and do other strange stuff in this room. Hence this toilet has been given the term ‘Protected Private Habitat’. By doing this, these gorillas appear ‘swaggy’.
At last to conclude the tour, the Explorer can enjoy the melodious tunes which the gorillas sing for free while they are busy. Although the listener will also have to endure the cackle and the guttural talk which the thug gorillas enjoy among themselves.
The jungle safari comes to an end. The enthralled explorer might have roamed in the deepest jungles of Amazon or the highest mountains of Zimbabwe to search for new species, but the most vibrant form of wildlife will only be found at the Boys toilet of our school.
May the ‘Phorce’ Be With You
Adil Ansari
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