Hopin, Prayin

I'm in a pretty bad state right now. Only a few days remain before I am officially without a job. The few interviews that I do manage to land always end up in a cringy mess that's too painful to even think about. My American dreams, which had already been brought crashing down and left to burn last month, are still smouldering in the back of my head. I continue to wait for a visa which I am now coming to terms with that might come only when my teeth fall out. The Queen passed away yesterday, not that I care much about her, but that meant all premier league matches over this weekend and potentially the next, had to be cancelled.

The last news was crushing. For the past few weeks, ever since this disaster started, the only reason I have been able to keep a smile on my face and a skip in my walk was because there is always football to cheer me up. No matter how bad the day went, watching Maguire's comedy show at Old Trafford always used to cheer me up. The last few weeks have not been as enjoyable with Ten Haag deciding to bench Maguire and Milner starting in the midfield for Liverpool, but hey, they are not my problems and it's always entertaining to see how managers and teams sort their messes out.

But cancelling the matches is a dumb and weird decision. It's pretty unfair that the British public has to sacrifice their Friday leisure plans yet wake up and go to a soul-crushing 9-5 job on the same day. Perhaps this was the last laugh that the Queen wanted to go out with. But I don't want to get into the cruel and sketchy legacy of the monarchy right now. This post is mourning my already depressing day, week and month, not her.

Perhaps the only silver lining in all this is that I will get time to sit down and study for the interviews. Yep, fat chance. It might probably last only for about 30 seconds before I go back to wallowing in self-pity. Jeremy Clarkson in his column last week mentioned how he loathed the current generation of youngsters for being, loosely put, spoiled and entitled brats. I couldn't help but agree with him. After years of chilling and waiting for the goose to drop a golden egg in my lap, I guess finally this is a way of life kicking me in the balls to get up and get something done. I'll try my best, I guess. My best usually includes 2.5 mins of watching inspirational youtube videos before going to sleep for 3 hours at 2pm in the afternoon. But let's give it a shot.

Another silver lining is that my FPL team, which had a disastrous weekend last week can finally be reshuffled thanks to the wild card next game week. Perhaps if something as shitty as my FPL team deserves a 2nd chance, so do I. Fingers crossed touch wood, rubbing my dad's bald dome, crawling around my home on my knees, doing everything I can to turn my luck around and score some points, online and IRL. Everything will fall into place.

Just praying and hoping for now. Maybe should try trying.